Back in Singapore

After 2 months in the Philippines, I am back in Singapore. And what I am facing is:

• Not being employed
• No improvement in my parents’ situation.
• Loretta’s parents making pointed remarks about our future together.

Besides these difficulties, I’ve actually fitted right comfortably back in to my life here. It seems that not much has changed and it’s as if I was never gone. But much to me is different.

For one, there are memories that will linger and haunt; the people that I have met, and the places I have gone. I realised that I miss the mountains and rivers, sunrise and sunsets, moonrises, and the people, as well as the charming idiosyncrasies of city life in the Philippines.

I miss the Ateneo de Manila University. I miss the grounds, the walk down to Riverbanks, the chapels and church, the wind on the rooftop, the cool weather.

You just can’t get that here in Singapore.

Besides these memories, much that is inside me is different as well.

To tell the story, perhaps I shall begin with why I wanted to leave Singapore and be on my own for a while in the first place:

• I wanted to know myself.
• I wanted to sort out my thoughts.
• I wanted to know what job I wanted to do.
• I wanted to know more about other people, their perceptions about life, work, and love.
• I wanted to know more about life.

Basically, I wanted to break out of a debilitating routine which I had found myself in, where I didn’t want to get a job because I didn’t know what to do, and didn’t think I was good at anything and I didn’t want to fail, and there were expectations but these expectations were not mine, that my life was so good and comfortable that I didn’t want to work, that I had to do this and that because this and that so that I could this and that but wtf was that all for when I didn’t know the meaning of it all in the end?

You kind of get the idea. I was growing up, and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Like a ship in a great ocean with no compass, no sail, no sight of shore. I needed to find some answers; get some bearings. And have a damned good holiday along the way.

Manila

What happened:

With nervous excitement, being the first time I’ve ever travelled alone, I made my way to the budget terminal, had breakfast at Hans, boarded the Tiger Airways plane, landed in Clark (a city north of Manila), took a bus, and ended up in a huge mall somewhere in Manila. After exploring around the incredibly huge mall and having lunch, I took a taxi to Ateneo De Manila University and the Arrupe International Residence, which is where the Jesuit scholastics and Adrian were staying. He must have been relieved when I arrived because I was not able to call him the whole time; I didn’t know how to dial the residence number and couldn’t get through. I just arrived on the doorstep all by myself.

What I learnt:

• Travelling alone in a new place is exciting and fun.

Next: Part 3: Travelling Manila