When I'm alone. I sometimes feel angry.

When I'm alone. I sometimes feel angry.
I am angry because I hate my life. I hate the way it is. I don't know where it's going. I don't know what my existence is for. I don't feel happy; or content.

I listen to others playing the piano.
I look at the photographs that others take.
I look the night sky.
I kick a football.
I play a bit of snooker, but
I feel that I'll never be able to play as beautifully,
to capture anything worthwhile,
I've lost the sense of amazement and wonder of the universe.
I don't play well anymore.

The anger is sometimes violent; self-destructive.
I laugh. Laugh at the world. An almost maniacal laugh.
Bitter. Bitterness. I have everything; yet I have none. What is it?

LOL.
Sometimes.