Catholics..

By chance, I came across two blogs about Catholic stuff on the recently updated blogs on blogger, one right after another! I've never noticed any Catholic blogs prior.. wonder is there is any cosmic significance? They are very interesting reads and I've bookmarked them.

Incidentally also, I and Loretta bumped into Joanne and Wayne at Ikea the other day over dinner. We sat together and ended up chatting about CSS. I've not spoken about CSS for ages for a number of reasons. One of these was that I had a lot of unsettled feelings and issues with Ivan, which again coincidentally was kinda settled the week before.

Back to the issue of CSS, Joanne commented that the CSS seemed to be just ambling along, without any meaning or direction. I then thought up the analogy that CSS is like a four year confirmation camp: you join because you have to. You don't really know what you're doing but you just follow. And when you graduate, you find yourself in the real world, and on your own.

Of course I'm not happy with this analogy, but it sure seems to be working that way. There just are no leaders to believe that CSS can be something more. OR, the leaders sincerely believe that CSS should be the way it is. Put it another way. God should either want for CSS to be something more that what it is presently, or God wants it to remain the way it is. Now I believe that God should want CSS to be something more, but the evidence as reflected by the very much more prayerful and faithful people in the CSS show that the status quo is good! Take Fr Vaz the chaplain for example. If others believe that everything is alright, then I just have to believe that it is I who am wrong. Being me and being stubborn, I find the whole situation so contradictory that I find that it is God who is wrong. That is, he doesn't exist.

What is an ideal relationship?
I'm an idealist, and I've always imagined that a equal relationship in which both share in each others lives fully is the most beautiful kind of relationship. I believed for a while that I'd actually found such a possibilty in a person. But what if there is some part of that person that you cannot understand fully, cannot share with fully?

I think I've been having difficulty lately with Loretta becoming more involved with social work. I find that I cannot share her passion or love for her work. All I can do is try to understand and support her. But I feel I miss out then on understanding her completely. Conversely, there are parts of myself that I am beginning to find that she may never be able to share. So what gives? It seems that my idealistic notion of sharing ones life completely with another must go! Or at least be altered somewhat. After all, there cannot be two people who can be able to share their lives so completely right? They would have to be unheathily alike in every way!